Weirdo Euro-trends Jessie does not enjoy

The loverly Miss Jen G. from his nerd jig sent me this  hilarious site for “glue jeans.” Um, okay – just because your shit is from the Netherlands and you have found some emaciated dude fame-starved enough to put an oversized Ikea lamp on his head and model your 1st year design school drop-out fashions, does not mean you are doing something that is remotely interesting or different. Straight up, your jeans are ugly and look like they are leaking blood. Also, I bet you cannot only not wash these jeans, you cannot dry clean them either, and this is something that is supposed to add “charm” and “character” to said creepy garment. NO.

Dear Kindgom of the Netherlands,

Pls stick to what you do best – dank weed, tulips, clogs, and windmills.

Much obliged,

Jessie

An Ode to Mad Men

Oh, Mad Men. Some have praised your writing, some the intense drama, others have praised the way you’ve captured the zeitgeist of ad execs in the ’60’s. Me? I am not alone in praising the delicious, delicious outfits that your female characters are seen wearing. The frothy white frocks of a disillusioned housewife? Love. The high-waisted cigarette pants and oxford of the liberated artist and divorceé? J’adore. The saucy, curve-hugging dresses of the secretarial sector? Mama Mia!

In short? I’m already keeping my fall wardrobe well-stocked with high-waisted skirts and saucy frocks. I mean, if I have to get underpaid to deal with the idiotic queries of prospective Ivy League medical students, I might as well look as delightful as Joan Holloway while doing it, right?

And, judging from the delights of this season’s premiere, the 3/4 sleeve coat seems to be making a comeback, to which I say: With Pleasure, Mr. Draper. Now, ladies, where can I find a fella who will buy me a fur coat?

P. Run Season 5 Ep. 2 Recap

So, how are we feeling about Season 5 so far? I have a strong personal bias towards Season 2, which most of you are aware of. It’s just that, in my opinion, nothing can top the Good TV + Good Fashions of that time in our lives. Sigh. Anyway!

-Sadly, cute [but kindof boring] Wesley got kicked auf. It sucks that so many models opted for that ‘green’ brown poopsilk, because it was totally fug and try as I might, I simply cannot picture a single person looking good in that. Well, except for Halle Berry, who is, you know, Halle Berry. Also of note: Wesley and Daniel are dating, which I’m sure you’ve heard, and all I have to say is: cute couple.

-How psyched were we about Natalie Portman guest judging!?!????!? [Aside: have you seen her in Devendra's new video?]

-Suede is absolutely, 100% annoying as fuck. And his winning number def. had some serious design/fit issues. But! Like Ms. Natalie, I also adored it, perhaps because out of all the looks, it was clearly the cocktail dress that I would have chosen for myself. We all know that I am a sucker for tulle. However, I also loved Daniel’s little black number. Is anyone else in agreement that Daniel kind of keeps designing these really lovely things and kindof keeps getting the shaft?

-Unfortunately for all those complaining about the hipster girls who all look alike, they seem to be doing quite well for themselves. Faux Betty Paige Kenley’s look was actually super pretty, and I didn’t really mind Emily’s either. Of course, Leanne’s noodly appendage dress was a disaster.

-Are we loving Jerell’s snarky asides and low-cut shirts? Yeah, that’s what I thought. I love his personality, I don’t love the blue peacock feather truffle he presented, except for maybe a short-’n'-tight piece for Lily or Louisa. [YES I WENT THERE!]

-OMG Stella’s insane.

I witnessed an F21 that was actually not a disaster zone.

Jealous? The racks were organized, the lines for the dressing rooms were predicably long, and the staff was actually fairly helpful. I went to the opening day of a huge-ass Forever 21 in Seattle – two floors, with menswear and tons of, well, F21 stuff. That means – some good, some bad, and the majority designed for pre-pubescents. Didn’t stop me from shopping and picking up a vest or two. It took me a long time to not have flashbacks to 7th grade and bodysuits, but I finally feel like I can wear vests. Not just sweatervests – I have had those floating around forever – but the menswear-style vests. I feel like I can put one of those over any other top – plain tee, oxford, tube top – and be ready for work. As for bodysuits… I know that leotards almost had their day in the sun, but if I ever wear snaps near my crotch again, I’m giving up on fashion.

Warm Felines on Shelter Covers

This delicious article by Ms. Christina Binkley of the Wall Street Journal discusses the current decrease in popularity of the slip. Binkley argues that this trend is due in part to the invention of masochistic undergarments like Spanx (I say this - not her. I wore a pair once and I swear I felt like I was recovering from an appendicectomy the next day) coupled with the increased trendiness of sheer clothing that shows your undies or perhaps even your boobies or hoo-ha.

This article is certainly a sweet little must-read. But I have to say, I still love me a vintage slip. They add a great girly quality under dresses and skirts and they’re fun to sleep in too. Also, dudes who don’t really seem to care about clothes or fashion at all seem to dig them. Has anyone else noticed this odd phenomenon?

Video shopping

Maybe I’m out of the loop, but I’ve never seen this sort of thing before.

I particularly liked this number.

House of Siriano: Plz Advise.

I am in no place to buy anything remotely costly right now, as I’m in the ever-so-pricey process of changing house, but I can almost- almost- justify maxing out my AmEx to own a Siriano original. Or am I just buying into the hype? [I find the gold silk 'Heidi' pencil skirt to be delicious.]

Sigh. Or I’ll just bop around the thrift store until the Richard Chai for Target debut.

Photoshoot at Lunch

Q: What do you get when you combine Season One of ANTM on DVD, an amazing thrifted sweetheart dress, and my roommate’s extensive Sephora makeup collection?

Do you prefer fashion victim or ensembly challenged?

Okay, so I want a pair of gladiator sandals. I just do.

The following list underlines why I feel nervie about this purchase:

A. They are super fucking trendy. And while I love me some LiLo, I don’t exactly want to dress like her. I mean, let’s face it, after the gladiator sandals it would just be one leggings-wearing, bleach blonde hair-dying, British lady DJ dating slippery slope down self-tanner mountain. I guess I have shown my ass and vadge to half of Washington, DC, so perhaps I’m more like Linz than I give myself credit for. Anyway, back to the list.

B. It is the end of July and that means there is only 2 months (tops) of sandal-wearing weather left this year. Would it make sense to spend a wad on a pair of summery sandies?

C. As many of you ladies know, I have roughly 4893094304930 pairs of shoes. I wear two pairs. One is a pair of flats I got in London 3 years ago that I just can’t get rid of even though they are destroyed; the other is my Havianas flip flops. Just perhaps, I don’t need another pair of ridiculous shoes that I won’t exactly wear.

The following list underlines why maybe I think a pair of these guys might be nice for me:

A. I secretly love trendy shit.

B. I think they look really cute with super short shorts and tiny summery dresses.

C. I saw the below picture of Gwyneth Paltrow in the latest In Style and fell in love with her outfee. I know a lot of people don’t like her that much, but I still do. And I mean, come on, just look at her. She looks pretty fucking fantastic.

 

D. I like to buy stuff.

Okay, ladies – am I allowed to purchase these ridiculous things? And if so, where do I purchase them? I went to UO yesterday (stop judging me) and they didn’t really have any. I also don’t really want to buy a pair that will fall apart after like 5 wears.

When I was in Baltimore this weekend not attending Whartscape I tried on a pair of white beauties at Shine. They were lovely, but I was told that ankle straps make my legs look stubby. I concur.

So, YAYAYYAYAYYAY! or NAYNAYAYAYNAYAYAY?

i’m back! (by elizabeth)

foreword: i’m going to state my authorship in my post titles, and if anyone wants to do the same, i’d really appreciate it because i’m really lazy.

speaking of lazy, i’ve been back from israel for 2+ weeks but i got logged out of wordpress during that time, and didn’t bother to log back in until today. but, here i am, with much to discuss.

israel was great, some girls on the trip nicknamed me ‘vintage city girl’ (strange in so many ways – i really don’t wear all that much vintage, nor have i ever actually lived in a city aside from 4 months in prague). however, they thought i had great style, so i’ll just appreciate the nickname as an uninformed compliment. jellies as water shoes was an awful idea and i don’t suggest it. ‘water shoes’ didn’t mean shower shoes, it meant BE READY TO HIKE THROUGH A RIVER WITH BIG ROCKS FOR AN HOUR shoes. i hate to say it, but one girl had keen’s (a la derek) and i think she was onto something not fashion savvy, but practical.

while in new york last weekend, i went to built by wendy, for the first time in my life. i agree 200% with jessica’s thoughts on BBW (re: “confession o’clock”) and i really wasn’t sure if i’d be able to bring myself to buy something, but the 50% off sale sure helped. i’d been eyeing the garden flower a-line skirt online for months, but i quickly realized it’s made like shit (and i may or may not have pulled a bit too hard at the zipper and created a little rip, sry wendy). however, i did buy the same a-line skirt in black (the major difference being the black one is fully lined) AND I LUV IT. such a high waist, a nice little arrow pointing right to my cleav, although the length is a bit matronly, so i’m going to have to hem that.

i also was in the market for a dress for my birthday (although i still have to create plans to revolve around this dress) and settled on this from BBW:

it buttons all the way down the back which is problematic for getting dressed/undressed, but of course i expect someone to do that shiz for me on my 2nd 21st birthday.

my biggest news is that as of 2 hours ago, i finally have a purse! it’s mj (not mbmj) and comes courtesy of my generous mother for my birthday. she thinks it will get stolen at mustard seed and so i should lock it in the car trunk. unfortunately this picture doesn’t do it justice.